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Music. Welcome to design for the creative mind, a podcast for interior designers and creative entrepreneurs to run their business with purpose, efficiency and passion, because while every design is different, the process should remain the same.
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Prepare yourself for some good conversations with amazing guests, a dash of Jesus and a touch of the Woo, woo, and probably a swear word or two.
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If you're ready to stop trading your time for money and enjoy your interior design business, you are in the right place.
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I'm your host. Michelle Lynn, you
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Hey, hey, y'all welcome back to the design for the creative mind podcast. This is where we talk all things business. We sweeten it up specifically for interior designers. We are kicking into a new season. We just wrapped up our marketing season. So if you did not catch that, there is some serious, actionable content that you can garner from the episodes in that season. Now we are going to be going into the rookie mistakes in real talk season, where we will be mixing business blunders with behind the scenes truths from running an interior design firm.
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Today's episode is for every designer who's ever said yes when they want to scream, oh hell no, and you've paid the price for it. We're going to be talking about people pleasing, why it happens, how it hurts your business, and what it looks like when it shows up in client relationships. And of course, I'm layering in some real talk about setting boundaries and steering the ship like the confident CEO that you are, babe. And if I sound a little nasally. It's true, because I'm recording this episode in April in Texas, and the allergies are something fierce, but we're here because we're keeping it real. So let's dig in. What people pleasing is,
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is basically saying yes to every request to avoid conflict, or not saying things
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because you want to be liked.
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This shows up in interior design, and I speak from experience, both in my own interior design firm, ml interiors group, and dealing with the coaching clients that I have had literally hundreds over the past few years that have come through our paid programs, most specifically the interior design business bakery.
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This, this is a real thing that I'm stating this because if you have ever felt this way, I want to reassure you that you're not alone if you haven't felt this way. Well, I think you can still stick around for some good nuggets today, but if you've ever let the client dictate the timeline or the scope or the direction of the project, that is, that is people pleasing.
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And y'all by nature. Most of us who are in this industry are natural people pleasers. But if you're thinking that keeping the client happy means that you're doing a good job, I'm here to tell you that that is not the case, and oftentimes so many of us were raised with the client is always right, or the customer is always right that it is not going to serve you in this particular instance, in your own business, this is your business. So the reason why a lot of this happens is a fear of rejection,
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a fear of bad reviews or a fear of losing the client. A lot of the reason why this happens is because you have a lack of confidence in your process,
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and
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without a process, you're we're just flailing.
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We also have the tendency to mistake kindness for leadership. Kindness is not a quality that is going to get you from point A to point B without a lot of bumps and bruises.
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What happens is if you are mistaking kindness for leadership, if you have a lack of confidence in your process, or if you fear, if you're operating from a place of fear, you end up with scope creep, burnout, resentment,
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the client loses trust in you because you're not taking the lead.
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Indeed. So yeah, let me just, let me just say that we started this episode with a big old Thunder Cloud, didn't we?
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But don't worry, the sunshine, the sunshine will peak out. Stick with me. Stick with me. I want to share a story from a bakery I had mentioned, the interior design business bakery, a bakery alum. One of her her name was Claire. She came into the program feeling totally, totally burnt out from a client that she described as so sweet, but constantly adding more work. So basically what it was was the project started out as a living room refresh, okay, and then it slowly turned into RE selecting every single furniture piece. So instead of just like adding some accessories and maybe some new draperies and judging the art, maybe rearranging a few things that she ended up re selecting every single furniture piece, kind of one by one, and then adding the lighting, adding more rugs, accessories, and then consulting on the adjacent dining room. So y'all, if we were on Zoom together, I'd be saying, put it in the chat as to you know, if this has ever happened to you, but I'm assuming that many of you guys listening have found that just spiral. So Claire didn't want to upset the client, because the client loved Claire's work, like she kept saying, oh my gosh, I love what you're doing. So Claire kept saying, yes, but we can do this, and we can do that. We can do this until she found herself doing like triple the original work. Okay? And you guys know, when it's just onesie twosie pieces, you really have to start like you make a decision, and then you have to back into the next one and then the next one. So Claire was trying to keep the client happy, but she was falling behind on our other projects, and then she'd be staying up at night and getting up early in the morning to try to catch up on literally, unpaid design time. Oh, gives me a headache. I totally remember this conversation inside the bakery. We helped Claire script a confident and kind boundary email. Okay, and it went something like this. This is not a direct quote, but off the top of my head, it was something along the line of, you know, Dear Mr. Ms client, whatever it was, it's been such a joy to bring your living space to life. Okay, so she's, she's starting off with something positive. As we've expanded the vision, we've stepped outside our original scope. Okay, so you say something positive, and then you state a fact. I'm thrilled to keep going. Okay, so you're, you're, you're letting them know right away that you're not firing them. Okay? But then she went ahead and said, and I'll send over a supplemental scope of work agreement and letter of agreement so that we can keep the process smooth and aligned. So basically, what it was is like, okay, lady, I gave you a scope of work and a an assigned contract, but now that the scope has expanded, you need to send another scope of work and agreement so that you have everything covered. Okay, so y'all Claire was terrified. She was terrified to send it because she didn't want the client getting mad, feeling like she was being pushy, or that she was like, upselling and feeling kind of smarmy. So So with that,
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you know, I basically just coached her on the call and said, Babe, trust me. Just trust me. On this, here's,
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here's here's the response she got from the client. It was something along the lines of like, Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for letting me know. I didn't even realize that I was adding more. I was just so excited, because I love the way the progress is coming along. Please, please, yes, definitely send over the next steps. Okay, how exciting is that that? That's the response that Claire got
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so it was what it was. And we came back and kind of wrapped this up in the Facebook group, is that it wasn't the client over stepping, but it was the fact that Claire wasn't leading because she wanted to keep the client happy, but the client was totally happy, but who was driving the bus? So the second that Claire stepped in, into her role as the expert, the dynamic shifted.
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Does that make sense? Can you see that in any of your projects? So Claire, last I heard, it's been, gosh, quite a while, but it was just an example that was applicable here. But last I heard, she was booked out confident holding her boundaries like a badass. Because when you run the business like a business, your clients are going to respect it as one. You're an interior designer, not a marketer, but somehow you're stuck.
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today that's www.mysidemark.com,
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so even though this is such an incredibly personal and high touch industry that we're in and it feels like you become friends with your clients, because you kind of do, admit it, you kind of do, but you still have to be a business and not a bestie. Oh, that's a good tagline. I should put that on social media. Remember, you are a business and not a bestie. Okay, so this is basically a mindset shift. Leadership doesn't mean that you're cold. It's not like you walk in there and you can't be friendly. It's not like you can't talk about what's going on or or ask the client how the kids are or how they're sick, you know, family member was, or whatever the case may be. It just means being clear about your business processes. The boundaries create safety for both the client and the designer.
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Okay, it lets the client know that you have things handled,
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that you are leading them up the Mount Everest of the interior design project. You are their Sherpa.
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But it also includes safety for you as the designer, you know what you're responsible for and what you're getting paid for, it's going to keep you from lying awake at night, probably pissed off at your client, and they don't even know what they're doing, but you're still mad. I can kind of relate to that sometimes in marriage,
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am I right? Like sometimes you just get mad because your husband can't read your
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mind. I admit, I admit that it happens. On occasion. It's the same thing with our clients. But at the end of the day, it's our responsibility to be, to be conveying the message, to be communicating, to be telling our clients and our husbands what we need
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so you have that safety. But let me just tell you as well when it comes to business, that being liked is not nearly as valuable as being trusted. Let that sink in. Being liked is not as valuable as being trusted.
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So if you are bending over backwards for approval, ask yourself, this,
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would I want to work with a lawyer, a doctor, an architect or heck, my hair stylist? If they could not confidently say, No,
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think about that. Your clients don't need a best friend. They need a leader with taste. So if I went to Shauna, who does my hair, and actually this, this has happened. This has happened. I went to Shauna and said, Hey, Shawna, my hair feels especially as I'm going into this particular phase in life as a middle aged woman,
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Shawna, my hair is feeling thinner. Can we get a Can I get a perm, or whatever it is, like a body?
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I need more body in my hair? And she says, Sure, you can have that, but you can't do that and keep your hair color. So which do you choose? Basically, she's saying, No, you cannot have a perm. I cannot put a permanent in your hair and color it. So while I was sad to hear that, I sure appreciated the fact that she didn't just say yes to make me happy and then burn my hair so it fell out.
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Okay? So
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think about that, when clients are asking you to do things that you know are not in their best interest or yours, would be the same as if I went to Shauna and said, Hey, can I get I'd love to pay for my hair color, but while you're there, can you also add highlights? She'd be like, Sure, I can but it's going to cost more.
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It's your business, babe, it is your business. So take a minute to reflect.
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Where are you over accommodating? What would it look like to lovingly lead? Instead, I really want you to ruminate on that. Where are.
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You over accommodating in your business,
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and what would it look like to lovingly lead instead? So y'all if this episode hit home, screenshot it and share the one boundary you're going to practice this week. You can do this in the in our Facebook group, the interior designers business launch pad.
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I'd love, love, love to see you there. Tag me so we can cheer you on or or come on over to the Instagram designed for the creative mind. Tag us. And heck, if you tag me, I'll feature you in the story. I'll be happy to share it. And of course, of course, if you loved what you heard. Please don't keep it to yourself. You can share this episode with a fellow designer who could use a little bit of inspiration. Leave a review wherever you're catching this episode. I really, really appreciate it. Those reviews certainly help with our ranking. Wondering what's going to be next week. Y'all. I'm getting so organized with this podcast thing. It's amazing. Yes, I don't know, 100 and something episodes in, but better late than never, right? And just like I always say, better done than perfect, we're getting there. Next week, we're going to be talking about why shopping retail can be wrecking your profits, and how to explain trade pricing without sounding defensive. You you totally don't want to miss it. So remember, success doesn't happen by chance. It happens by design. So keep designing your business with intention, and if you ever need a hand, I've got the coaching and mentorship programs ready to meet you where you're at, babe. You've got this.
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Hey y'all, if you love the show and find it useful, I would really appreciate it if you would share with your friends and followers, and if you like what you're hearing. Want to put a face with a name and get even more business advice, then join me in my Facebook group, the interior designers business launch pad. Yeah, I know it's Facebook, but just come on in for the training and then leave without scrolling your feet. It's fun. I promise you'll enjoy it. And finally, I hear it's good for business to get ratings on your podcast, so please drop yours on whatever platform you use to listen to this. We're all about community over competition, so let's work on elevating our industry one designer at a time. See you next time you.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
